i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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