You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
