proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
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These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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