I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
