I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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