Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize