He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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