By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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