Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we made out on top of his cat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
