I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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