I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
