i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think i have herpe
just one?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
