Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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