herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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