so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's blow job season.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
