she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
