I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
