How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
