I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You are a genius and a whore.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
