I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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