sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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