At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize