I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
