So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
