how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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