I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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