dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
