peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
