writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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