He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
