idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
