You work out of a Hotel?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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