Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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