I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need a beard to bite.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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