He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
