I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
