i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
