well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
only you would photoshop your dick
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
