Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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