The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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