Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
