you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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