i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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