At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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