I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
