Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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