How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
