I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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