he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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