you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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