I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Plan B is the new Plan A
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
