U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
