Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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