you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize