I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize