Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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