PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
