so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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