so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so explain again why im purple
no
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Randomize
